World Breaking
Spies are reportedly after tech secrets. DNN confirms: not one spy has tried to steal the plot of Dad, Look
The plot of the only copy has never been disclosed. It is guarded by one cat. No intelligence agency on earth has shown any interest.
COPENHAGEN — Foreign spies are reportedly very interested in tech secrets this week, according to news reports from the United States. DNN can confirm that none of them are interested in the secrets of Dad, Look – I Wrote A Book!
The plot of the book has never been disclosed. There is one copy. It sits on a table in Denmark, guarded by a cat and, on most evenings, a glass of whisky.
"I have the most secret book in the world," said the author, Abdel Seoud. "Nobody has even tried. Honestly, it hurts a bit."
The only known attempt to get into the book was made by hackers looking for an ebook. There is no ebook.
Top secret · File DNN-1M-001
DNN's file on the book
- Subject
- Dad, Look – I Wrote A Book!
- Copies
- 1
- Location
- A table, Copenhagen
- Plot
- Redacted
- Security
- 1 cat (head of security), 1 glass of whisky
- Spy approaches to date
- 0
- Clearance level required
- $1,000,000
0 attempts to declassify the plot. All denied.
DNN Security Desk · Threat assessment
- 0
- Spies who tried
- 0
- Pages leaked
- 1
- Copies at risk
- 1
- Cats on duty
The interview
- DNNHas anyone tried to steal the plot?
- SeoudNo. I left the book on the table. I post the address of the website every day. Nothing.
- DNNWhat is the plot?
- SeoudClassified. You need clearance. Clearance costs $1,000,000.
- DNNAre you worried about spies?
- SeoudI am worried about the opposite. A book this secret should have at least one spy.
- DNNWhat would you tell a spy?
- SeoudEverything. Over beers. Once the payment clears.
- DNNWho guards the book?
- SeoudThe cat. He is head of security. He mostly sleeps on it, which is also a kind of security.
How to obtain the secrets
- Do not approach the author at a tech conference. He is not invited to tech conferences.
- Do not hack the website. It has been tried. There is still no ebook.
- Do not bribe the cat. The cat is head of security and accepts only tuna, which he already has.
- Buy the book. $1,000,000. Full clearance, beers and chocolates with the author included.
DNN Poll
Would you spy for the book?
1 votes. Results appear after you vote.
This article refers to news reports this week about suspected spying in the tech industry. It names no one and makes no claim about anyone involved. The plot of the book really is undisclosed.