No literary agent ever replied. So the author became his own agent, negotiated hard and got himself $1,000,000. He said yes.

COPENHAGEN — Most authors want a literary agent: someone who believes in the book and sells it. Many send their manuscript to agent after agent, and wait.

Abdel Seoud sent his. None of the agents replied. So he became his own agent.

The negotiation was tough, DNN understands. Both sides walked out twice. In the end the agent secured a deal for the author: one copy, $1,000,000, beers and chocolates included. The author accepted on the spot.

"He is the only agent who has ever believed in me," said Seoud, the author. "He drives a hard bargain," said Seoud, the agent.

DNN Culture · The negotiation

Author vs. agent: the talks

1. Agent I've read your book.
2. Author Nobody has read my book.
3. Agent I've read the cover.
4. Agent What are you asking?
5. Author $1,000,000.
6. Agent That's ambitious.
7. Author It's one copy.
8. Agent My fee is 15%.
9. Author That's $150,000.
10. Agent Of nothing, so far.
11. Author Deal.
12. Agent Deal.

The contract

Parties

Abdel Seoud (author) and Abdel Seoud (agent)

Price

$1,000,000 for the only copy

Advance

$0

Commission

15% to the agent, paid to himself

Term

Until the book is sold

Signed

Twice, in the same handwriting

Rejection letters (written by the author, to himself)

• Dear Author, thank you for your submission. Unfortunately it is not quite right for our list. Our list is empty, but still.
• Dear Author, we love the title. We would love it more if there were a second copy.
• Dear Author, we are not taking on new clients at this time. Or any clients. We are you.

Represent this author

0 agents have offered to represent the author. He already has one.

The interview

DNNWho represents you?

SeoudI do. I came highly recommended. By me.

DNNWas the negotiation difficult?

SeoudVery. At one point I threatened to walk out. I followed myself into the kitchen.

DNNWhat is your commission?

Seoud15%. I pay it to myself, so it evens out. Everything with me evens out. Mostly at zero.

DNNWould you recommend your agent?

SeoudTo anyone who has written exactly one book and printed exactly one copy.

DNN Poll

Should the author fire his agent?

Fire him Keep him Make them both rich: buy the book

0 votes. Results appear after you vote.

No real literary agents or agencies are named or quoted. The rejection letters were written by the author, to himself.